The ultimate no-pressure guide to choosing the perfect wedding date
Sooo… the question has been popped? Congratulations! Whether it was a festive season surprise, or simply a beautiful moment you’ve been cherishing more some time now, there’s one thing that might nudge back to reality from the top of your blissful love mountain. That’s when you start to realise that people won't stop asking if you have set a wedding date. And this will happen over, and over, and over again!
The second you post that incredible pic of your ‘’I said Yes!’ moment, it’s like every never-seen, long-lost cousin and aunt wants to know when the Big Day will be. All while you haven’t managed to catch your breath from the ring reveal yet!
Here at Bride Tribe HQ we're all about helping make your day as enjoyable as possible and today we bring you the ultimate no-pressure guide to finding the right wedding date. Relax, grab a cup of tea, and let us help you make the most of this fantastic moment in time. With these top tips for picking the perfect wedding date, you can soon get back to swooning over your shiny new ring in peace!
Who really matters?
No, we’re not getting existential here. You want everyone to celebrate with you, but it’s a bit of a tall order in practice. So it’s important to figure out exactly who are the non-negotiable, cannot-be-without people you need there on your special day. From great-grandma to your childhood bestie and the soon-to-be Hubby's brother-from-another-mother, these are the people who’s yay or nays on the date you might take into consideration. Everyone else? Well, it’s nice to have them there, but remember - you can’t please everyone and you shouldn't have to! It's your day after all.
Also important to picking a date, do you have a dream destination? Are there talented wedding vendors that you’re obsessed with and dying for them to bring their special touch to your day? Do you have your heart set on a venue, church, photographer or celebrant? Then you’re going to need to get in touch with them asap and find out their availability asap. Venues and churches, particularly, may come down to only one or two available dates in the season that you want, and you’ll need to book pretty fast to secure them.
What’s going on?
You’re in a little blissful bubble, but there’s a wide world out there! First up, do you have mutual friends and family who have other big events on - especially weddings and birthdays- coming up? Ideally, you’re going to need about 4 weeks between major family events with overlapping guest lists so people (and their bank accounts) can recover.
What about specific dates? If you had to take into account every birthday, anniversary, and potentially sad dates for every guest you’d invite, you’re wedding would never happen. It’s impossible to consider ever date clash. But that doesn’t mean you get carte blanche to be insensitive. That’s Bridezilla talk, and you don’t play like that so be mindful of any dates like that and try to avoid those.
If special people in your family and friends network have a ‘big number’ birthday or anniversary- like a Sweet 16, 21st, or 40th wedding anniversary- you don’t want to compete for that date and divide your guest list. And if someone you love dearly is going through that rough year of ‘firsts’ after losing someone, maybe try and avoid the worst dates, too. After that? Well, as we mentioned, you can’t avoid every date that matters to every person. But if there’s a big memorial date in the fam or with your bestie, bear that in mind and be kind.
On a brighter - but no less important - note, check out the general events calendar, too. No one really wants an event on a big sports or holiday weekend, or overlapping with a big convention, so plan as best as you can. Needless to say, avoiding Christmas or Boxing Day, when many people already want to travel to their family (and are spending wildly) is probably a smart move.
For a religious family, check important religious holidays, too. If you’re a touch superstitious, you might want to nix-nay the ‘Ides of March’ (March 15th) and any superstitious couples out there, you'd probably want to scrap Friday the 13th’s. That’s up to you, however.
When do you want to get married?
Of course, your wants matter too! Maybe you have a specific month in mind? Here in Australia, our most popular wedding months are November for spring weddings and March for autumn, followed by October and April. Together, these 4 months celebrate 45% of all marriages taking place! These months let you avoid the intense summer heat without sacrificing the beautiful outdoor options. Of course, loving a peak date may mean facing competition from other brides and bear increased pricing, so bear that in mind.
There might also be other factors that matter to you. Perhaps you’d like to introduce some symbolism with a lucky moon or date. Perhaps the symbolism is personal, and you want a special date in your relationship or to honour something. Or you simply want to go off-peak for great deals! It’s all valid. This is your special day, after all!
Where are you planning to hold the wedding?
Planning to stay local? Start with your venue dates straight up. You might also want to consider when sunset is for your planned dates, to take into account the lighting aspect for photos. Ask your photographer for input on this. And you might want to have a little look at average weather patterns for that period, especially if you have your heart set on an outdoor event.
If you’re going further afield, however, especially if it’s a destination wedding, you need to take care. First up, acquaint yourself with weather at your destination - you don’t want your beach wedding drowned out by a torrential rain in Monsoon season.
But be fair to guests, too. People want to celebrate with you, but not everyone can just slap money down and travel freely. Give guests at least nine months- we’d say a year - of savings so more of your special people can try and make your wedding if some travel is involved.
Why are you rushing for the date?
Lastly, let’s get real. There’s no hard and fast rule to when you have to announce a date after your engagement. If you love to plan, get right to it! If you want to enjoy the ride a bit, do it!
The average engagement length is 12-18 months, and if you want to come in under a year, it’s probably a good idea to start talking about dates soon so everyone can plan and save the date.
But there’s no ‘have to’ here. As long as you give guests a decent warning between the save-the-date and the wedding to get leave, plan for babysitters, and so on, it’s all good. Don’t let anyone else come to your wedding planning table with their ‘musts’ and ‘have tos’. It’s your journey from Miss to Mrs- enjoy every step your way!
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